A lot of men want to know why women look so mean or women don’t speak when men address them in public. A man will compliment a woman and instead of her saying thank you or complimenting him in return, she gives him attitude or ignores him completely. I’m not of that variety of women; however I have been in the past. I knew exactly why I was acting stank. I didn’t want any bullshit.
See, many of us women once had a very open mind and heart. We were willing to give and receive love. Then, through a series of failed attempts and relationships, we grew apprehensive and eventually cold and numb. When a man approaches us, we’re already waiting for him to disappoint. If a man told me I looked nice, my mind had already skipped past the compliment to all the various ways the situation was bound to turn ugly; whether it’s a in a matter of minutes, days, weeks, months, or years down the road. How many weeks, months, years had I wasted on unsupportive, lying, hurtful, manipulative, abusive nigs? In terms of self-correction, I take accountability for the fact that I STUCK AROUND in those situations. However, it can’t go unnoticed that HE STUCK AROUND TOO; lying and manipulating, justifying and fusing and fighting. In the end, he was on to the next one and I had to pick myself up AGAIN.
Unfortunate as it is, these are the things that go through a woman’s head when she’s approached by a man. After being played enough times, it just becomes reflexive. She simply does not want to invite any more romantic misery into her life, so she’d rather cut the nig off at inception.
While I’m admittedly no longer one of those mean-faced women, I recently realized that I’m highly paranoid when it comes to men. And you know what else I realized? It’s NOT HOT. That’s the stuff that has women blowing up over any and every word men say;
“Whh-what?!?!?”
“What u say nigga?”
“Excuse me?”
“What dat supposed to mean?”
Ugly, Robocop nag shit! However, I also realized that I’ve never been wrong. Whatever it was that had me paranoid or feeling insecure or confused, always came to fruition in the end.
Having considered all these things, I’ve come to this very rational conclusion:
LET HIM GO.
In the end, all the arguments and drama and nagging and name calling and evil acting from both parties is gonna have the relationship end ANYWAY. If he’s doing things you don’t understand, or doing things you don’t like, fuck putting the pieces together. Throw away the whole puzzle altogether. Don’t waste your time.
I don’t say this to be attitudinal. I say this because repetitive arguing, stress and anxiety is unhealthy. It’s the opposite of what a loving, romantic relationship is intended to be. At the end of the day, after a month or however long of arguing and bringing out the worst in each other; all the paranoia, insecurities, lack of confidence will only feed on itself and it drive you crazy. Then once the relationship has burned to the ground, you’re going to be left looking like the sucker, regardless of whether or not you were right the whole time. Yeah, he was talking to someone else. Yeah, he was looking at someone else. Yeah, he was fucking someone else (or plotting to). Yeah, he was using you. Yeah, he was abusing you. Yeah, he was taking advantage, being selfish, lazy, manipulative, etc. But, so what? All your worrying and fussing only served his purposes, by supplying him with justification to do whatever he was going to do in the first place.
The one holding the short end of the stick will always be the one holding the short end. There’s no way to “win” except to walk away. Don’t bother getting to the bottom of cryptic behavior. The longer you stick around waiting for clarity, the more confused, paranoid, and damaged you’re going to end up. The only truth you need to know is that you’re unhappy with the actions of the person you choose to let love you. It’s like hiring someone for a job. Would you continually ask your employee why they refuse to fulfill the obligations of their job? Wouldn’t you rather just fire them and find the right candidate? The right man who loves, adores, honors, respects, and cherishes you as a person, first and foremost, will not leave you in a state of misinformation and confusion.
No matter what anyone’s doing or not doing, they’re always SHOWING you exactly how they feel about you every step of the way. So, let him go. Your psyche will be better off in the long run, thus making you better equipped to recognize and receive the right, genuine individual when the time comes.
